After turning in my rough draft, I received a lot of good feedback from my blog group and professor. To incorporate their suggestions, I included more academic sources regarding the lives of migrant farmworkers, because a lot of my knowledge on the subject comes from my personal experience with migrant farmworkers and their children. However, to come across as more reliable and as having more ethos, I found research articles to strengthen my argument. I also included a second picture in my essay to show some of the children I worked with. This was to give the reader a better idea of the people I am talking about. They aren't just words on a page, they are real humans with individual lives and goals. I also incorporated more of my personal story throughout the essay, especially in the first paragraph. Doing all of these revisions, and more, helped me to write a, hopefully, more relatable essay that will grab the attention of many readers. To read my final draft, click here!